The 6 Stages of Grieving the Real Estate Market Shift (from a Loan Officer's Perspective)
When interest rates soared in 2022, it wasn’t just homebuyers and sellers who were left reeling—it sent shockwaves through the real estate and mortgage industries. Transactions dropped, and the once-frantic market slowed down. As a Loan Officer, I’ve had a front-row seat to this shift, watching clients, partners, and even myself go through the 6 stages of grief.
Here’s a candid look at each stage, how it’s shaped our industry, and why there’s hope on the other side.
1. Denial: "This is just a blip, and then we'll go back to 'normal.'"
At first, we all thought this was temporary. Rates went up, but surely they’d come back down. Right? Buyers held off, saying, “I’ll wait a few months.” Sellers decided to take their homes off the market, convinced the frenzy of 2020 and 2021 would return.
For some in the industry, denial set in, and they kept repeating, “It’s just a hiccup!” Others knew deep down: the days of ultra-low rates and bidding wars were changing.
2. Anger: "Blame the politicians, Tom Cruise, and Jesus."
Ah, anger—the universal stage where everyone gets blamed for everything. I’ve heard it all:
“This is the Fed’s fault!” (Probably true).
“If Tom Cruise hadn’t revived *Top Gun*, maybe the economy wouldn’t be so strong and rates wouldn’t have gone up!” (Such a good movie though!)
“This market is God testing us.” (Maybe also not wrong)
While humor got us through the initial frustration, there was real anger bubbling underneath. Realtors, buyers, sellers, and loan officers alike were frustrated with a system that felt stacked against them.
3. Bargaining: "I'm just going to wait for rates to come down."
Friends, this stage is where hope mixed with hesitation, and we stayed here far too long. Loan Officers started to plan their exits. Buyers started to bargain with the market (and themselves):
“If I wait another six months, rates will drop, and I’ll get the house I want at the price I want.”
As Loan Officers committed to sticking it out, we had to explain that no one knows exactly *when* rates will shift or by how much. What’s certain is that waiting has its own risks—like rising home prices or increased competition. Still, it was hard to fight this instinct to cling to “what if.”
4. Depression: "I give up. I'm never moving."
This was, and still is, the hardest stage to watch. Buyers gave up on their dreams of homeownership. Sellers stayed put, unwilling to trade their 3% mortgage for a 7% one. Realtors started feeling the pinch of fewer transactions.
For those of us in the mortgage world, the depression wasn’t just emotional—it was financial. Deals fell through, pipelines shrank, and the pressure grew. It felt like we were running a marathon uphill. Even more started to quit. Those that held out did so with less and less joy in our work.
5. Acceptance: Market Acceptance leads to Market Movement
Eventually, the industry began to shift. Buyers and sellers realized this *is* the new normal. They adjusted their expectations and started making moves. The mantra became:
Marry the house, date the rate.” (Gross)
“What goes up must come down—eventually.” (Maybe)
“Higher rates stopped rapid appreciation, so you're actually getting a better deal for the house. If you can afford it, do it, and if rates go down enjoy the added benefit!” (Actually true and helpful)
Acceptance didn’t mean it was easy, but it did mean progress. Buyers re-entered the market, armed with creative financing strategies like buydowns and adjustable-rate mortgages. Sellers started recognizing that even with higher rates, people still needed homes.
6. Reconstruction: "It didn't get easier, so I'm going to get better at the hard."
This is where the magic happens. After grieving what was, we focused on what could be.
Loan Officers leaned into education, arming clients with knowledge about affordability and long-term planning. Realtors got creative with listings, highlighting affordability in a higher-rate environment. And buyers? They started focusing on value rather than perfection.
In my own business, I embraced new strategies, built deeper relationships with referral partners, and improved my systems. It hasn’t been easy, but we’re better prepared for whatever comes next.
Final Thoughts
The real estate market of 2022-2023 wasn’t just a shift; it was a reckoning. It forced all of us to confront hard truths, adapt, and grow. But just like the stages of grief, it also came with hope and transformation.
For anyone still stuck in denial or depression: know that reconstruction is possible. The market may not be what it was, but with resilience and creativity, we can thrive in what it is—and what it’s becoming. What new skill are you learning? How can your process improve? Just how far can you level up?
I can’t wait to find out.
Written By Mike Swaleh
Husband and father. Branch Manager. Avid sports fan. Aspiring Renaissance Man. Proud to be part of a company that believes in doing the right thing, doing it the right way, and giving back to our communities, our clients, and our Veterans.
Michael Swaleh is a long-time student and teacher of the mortgage industry, but his path and experiences are a little different. Originally licensed as a Financial Advisor, Mike moved to mortgages in 2006 around the time he earned his Master's in Business Administration.
Quickly, he rose to the management ranks due to an unrelenting focus on accountability, quality, and expectation setting.
